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Posted at: Mar 21, 2017, 1:20 AM; last updated: Mar 21, 2017, 2:20 AM (IST)TROUBLE SHOOTER

Stay away from negativity

Guard your negative thoughts, do not allow yourself to be abused by them. So, let them flow and don’t take much interest in them

Simmi Waraich

You are not a misfit 

It’s been a year since my break up. I left my job and moved back with my parents. Most people around me are moving on in life. I do not want to just get married till I feel right about it. However, I feel like a misfit in my new job, where most women are married. Will I continue to feel low and depressed all my life?

— Neha, Chandigarh

It is considered a done thing in parts of our society where marriage is seen as a rite of passage that all pass through. That is why people tend to focus on it so much and even intrude on one’s personal life by offering advice to get married. One does not need to feel a misfit for holding different views. Often we tend to generalise events from the past, and may feel that our life will now always be like this. Our life is each day- living one day at a time with small goals. Identify your roadblocks and see what skills you possess to deal with them. Identify negative self talk and change 1-2 thoughts daily. If the feeling of sadness persists consider using a mood elevator for a few months. 

You need help

I have been married for 8 years now, and I have a three- year- old child. I live alone with my husband. He is supportive and has never given me reason to doubt him, but lately I keep thinking that ‘what if he is cheating on me.’ I know it is wrong but cannot help my thoughts. 

— Sumita, Derabassi

Often, a part of the brain called the Caudate nucleus may start churning out repetitive thoughts that we know are not correct but they are so intrusive and persistent that we start to doubt ourselves and feel there must be some truth in the thoughts. These may be obsessive thoughts. Get an evaluation. Behaviour therapy may help in these by teaching one to postpone the thoughts to a later time or by recording them on a voice recorder and listening to them at a particular time of the day. For this meet a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist.

(Waraich is a Chandigarh-based

consultant psychiatrist)

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