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Posted at: Sep 15, 2018, 12:31 AM; last updated: Sep 15, 2018, 12:31 AM (IST)GIRLS@GUPSHUP

Mom, you can’t be preggers!

Mom, you can’t be preggers!
Illustration: Sandeep Joshi

Aradhika Sharma

While waiting in the parlour of a skin specialist, I overheard a conversation between a pretty young thing (PYT) and her attractive mother. They were talking about the recently released viral trailer of Badhai Ho! that has left the entire nation in paroxysms of laughter.

“It’s hilarious!” said the elder lady. 

“It’s funny only if it happens to someone else,” said the PYT.

“Why?” her attractive mother asked. “Is there a ‘best by’ date to having babies? Older ladies have as much right to have babies as young women do!”

“I do not know about that but it would be very embarrassing if you were to get preggers. I would never be able to face my friends mom.”

“What in the world would your friends have to do with my being ‘preggers’, as you put it,” her mother enquired.

“It seems so inappropriate! One of my friend’s mom got a bun in the oven when she was in first year. The poor thing cried all day.”

“The mom? Aww… Must be antepartum depression.”

“Of course not, mom! My friend cried all day. I mean imagine being 50 years old and still doing it! So cheap of her parents!” she said and started to fiddle with the pimples on her face, probably the reason behind the visit to the dermatologist.

The lady hesitated, perhaps debating if she should reveal that PYT’s own parents were amongst the cliques of the erring, ‘cheap’ parents, conspiring against their progeny by clandestinely doing it.

“Well, in the older days, it was not unusual for many women in the family to be carrying at the same time. Often, the saas and the bahu would be expecting babies together. Or the mother and the daughter would deliver concurrently.”

“How gross is that!” PYT screwed up her 

pert nose.

“Girls got married early in those days, dear,” her mother said patiently. “If women are young and productive, they will have babies, even if they have older children.”

“Easy for you to say, mom. Do you even know what my friend Mehak’s parents made her go through?”

Her mother shook her head.

“Her mom asked her to change the linen of the bedrooms and you know what she found under her dad’s mattress?” 

“What?”

“Condoms! Imagine! Her dad is 56 years old and auntie must be at least 50 years old. Unbelievable or what?”

“It’s good that they’re being safe,” her mother grinned

“Mom, it’s nice to consider other people’s points of view, but old people should be thoughtful about their kids’ feelings.”

“Well, dear, you need to understand that desire in a devoted couple helps create bonds of love and intimacy and cements their relationship even further. In fact, once you are married, I would wish for a very long and fulfilling sexual life for you and your husband, one that lasts well into old age,” the mother explained kindly.

“C’mon mom! You and dad wouldn’t indulge in things like that, would you?”

The lady smiled sweetly.

The doctor called for them just when the look of realisation (and horror) had started dawning on PYT’s face.

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